I expect many of you are just settling into your lives and routine again after waving a beloved son or daughter off to University. Whoo! hoo! Or maybe not.
True, the noise, the mess, the taxi service, the whirlwind that young people bring to our homes may have gone and that is a positive. However, it does leave behind a change in a familiar pattern of behaviour in your relationship with your son or daughter, and a major change in their lives and your lives. Life will not be the same again and that loss of familiarity in routine and behaviour and a realisation that the child/teenager part of growing up has moved on is a loss that one can feel intensely enough to grieve for it. More commonly this is called’ Empty Nest Syndrome’.
As an Advanced Grief Recovery Specialist I recognise this loss but many don’t and just think that they are ‘being silly’, or that they are ‘stressed’ or ‘depressed’ for some reason. Often there will be conflicting feelings of ‘glad that they have been accepted at University and pleased that they are off to make their own way in the world’ and ‘I don’t want them to go, I won’t see them so often and they may not want to come home so much and see me’. All these signs are perfectly normal and natural as you have had a big change in an emotional relationship and a familiar pattern of behaviour. This is grief.
The Grief Recovery Method helps you to understand this and your feelings around it and allows you to complete that emotional relationship, ready to start what will inevitably be a new one with new routines and patterns of behaviour.
it is also worth mentioning that your son or daughter may have similar feelings of loss, change and grief. Although it is an exciting time for them it can also be a bit daunting to be flying on their own! Is it any wonder that many University students don’t settle well and that mental health issues are on the rise?
For more information on loss and grief see www.griefrecoverymethod.co.uk/susanholden