FAQ

Grief
How long will it take to stop grieving?  As long as necessary, there are no set times or stages. Your grief is unique to you. Time alone will not heal; it is what you do within time that will move healing along.

What is the difference between the GRM and counselling?  Grief is not a pathological condition or a personality disorder. The Grief Recovery Method is an educational experience based on the fact that most of us have never been taught effective tools for dealing with grief. I give you those tools. The main ones being your own loss history graph, loss relationship graph and completion letter.

Is recovery really possible?  Yes! When you can talk and think about the person who has gone, the good bits and the not so good bits, in proportion, without being bitter, angry or depressed then you have recovered. Shedding a tear and feeling sad will still happen and this is normal and Ok.

What do I need to attend?  You only need courage to take the first steps and a commitment to being open and honest with yourself and to seeing the process through. All course materials are supplied including The Grief Recovery Handbook which is yours to keep.

Are there stages of grief?  No. Every loss is unique as is everyone’s grief. To say that there are stages implies that grief is the same for everyone and it has to be felt in a set sequence. Stages of grief have been derived and confused with the Stages of Dying which was the work of Elisabeth Kubler-Ross in her book ‘On death and Dying’ in 1969. When you don’t fit the so called stages you can feel stuck and wrong which further adds to your suffering.

Funerals
Can I choose my Celebrant? Yes you can. Tell your funeral director/arranger who you would like or contact the Celebrant directly and they will liaise with the funeral director/arranger.

Do I have to be cremated if the cemetery is full? No, you can still have a graveside burial at a Natural Burial site. These are similar but in natural, peaceful surroundings, and usually no headstones are allowed.

If I am not religious, do I want a humanist funeral? No. Humanists still have a belief system that there is nothing after death so will not allow any reference to religion in one of their services. You may have lived your life around humanist principles but still feel or hope that there may be some form of God or afterlife. You may choose a favourite hymn because it means something to you apart from religion or it is a nice tune or you may want The Lord’s Prayer because it seems appropriate. Some religious element is allowed in a Celebrant led funeral.

Why can it take so long before the funeral? Unfortunately these days with cemeteries getting full and more people choosing to be cremated there is pressure on the crematoriums. Additionally, there is quite a bit of ‘paperwork’ that has to be processed before a cremation can take place.

Are coffins re-used? No, never

Is there any help towards the cost of a funeral? Yes there is a government funeral fund to help. See www.gov.uk/funeral-payments for further information.

Naming Ceremonies 
Do I have to have my baby christened? No, a christening or baptism has been usual in the past because it welcomed a baby into the family of God and the Church. These days with people feeling that they do not wish to be actively involved in the Church, you can still mark the arrival of your baby into the world and into your family with a Naming Ceremony.

Vow Renewals
Can we make new vows for our vow renewal? Yes, your vows can be anything that you want.

Do we have to be married to have a vow renewal ceremony? No you can make a public declaration of a partnership or commitment with your own vows.

Is a vow renewal legal? There are no legalities to a vow renewal, it is a purely personal ceremony.

Do You Have a Question? Just contact me and I will answer it for you.