FAQ

How long will it take to stop grieving?  As long as necessary, there are no set times or stages. Your grief is unique to you. Time alone will not heal; it is what you do within time that will move healing along.

When can I start the Programme?  You can start at any time that you feel ready and feel that you need some help. The review and grieving process starts naturally almost immediately after any loss and may continue for years unless the emotional relationship can be completed. Even if your loss is 15, 20, 25 years ago, it is never too late to start.

What is the difference between the GRM and counselling?  Grief is not a pathological condition or a personality disorder. The Grief Recovery Method is an educational experience based on the fact that most of us have never been taught effective tools for dealing with grief. I give you those tools. The main ones being your own loss history graph, loss relationship graph and completion letter.

Is recovery really possible?  Yes! When you can talk and think about the person who has gone, the good bits and the not so good bits, in proportion, without being bitter, angry or depressed then you have recovered. Shedding a tear and feeling sad will still happen and this is normal and Ok.

Do I have to attend the whole course?  Yes. The course follows a structured process from understanding grief through applying what you learn to your own losses and then completing your loss. Only then will you fully feel the benefits.

What do I need to attend?  You only need courage to take the first steps and a commitment to being open and honest with yourself and to seeing the process through. All course materials are supplied including The Grief Recovery Handbook which is yours to keep.

Are there stages of grief?  No. Every loss is unique as is everyone’s grief. To say that there are stages implies that grief is the same for everyone and it has to be felt in a set sequence. Stages of grief have been derived and confused with the Stages of Dying which was the work of Elisabeth Kubler-Ross in her book ‘On death and Dying’ in 1969. When you don’t fit the so called stages you can feel stuck and wrong which further adds to your suffering.

How does this method work?  Unresolved grief can take us ‘out of this moment’. Grief drains us of energy and can cause us to have reduced concentration and close our hearts down. We may automatically protect ourselves by ‘holding back’ and not loving again. This course looks at the lost relationship, bringing you back to the present moment and by engaging with the process it can open your heart to feeling better and living again.

What can I say to my friend who has suffered a loss?  All grievers want to talk and need to be listened to with dignity and respect. So just say, what happened? Can you tell me a little about it? I can’t imagine how… painful/devastating/heart breaking…that must have been for you?

What should I not say?  I know how you feel, everything will be OK, anything that reinforces a myth e.g. don’t be sad, keep busy, we’ll get you a new dog and anything that is about YOU not them.

What are the myths?  Don’t feel sad, replace the loss, grieve alone, time is a healer, be strong, and keep busy.